Jax has been very tired all weekend and just been laying on my bed. I thought it may have to do with Daisy. Jax isn’t liking her and isn’t thrilled about me fostering. We went ahead and took him to the vet in case it was his health. It is. His lab values are almost above the measurable level (sky high). The vet said to have a dog with those labs actually walk in is amazing. Then we had a difficult conversation. Jax’s time is soon to end. He will get worse and eventually his existence would be suffering. We are going to have to put him down. Not today or tomorrow, but probably soon. When we arrived we had requested our favorite vet (we had been there when he wasn’t there the last few times and I was thrilled to see he was there) and then they said he was going to lunch (whomp). To our surprise he was came in the room to see us. I think maybe he knew this was coming and he was the best to deliver the news. Obviously the vet and staff all know us. I’m so glad he was there. He is the one who diagnosed Jax and walked me through everything in the beginning. He discussed everything in the best way possible. I feel like this post is all over the place but so is my brain right now. I’ve been crying off and on all day and it’s real but it’s not. I’ve been mentally preparing for this for some time but you can never fully prepare. I hope Jax continues to defy expectations and live awhile longer. So we will make him comfortable and spoil him and take it a day at a time. This morning he had cuddled on my chest for awhile. I think he knew today would be hard. I love him more than anything. After Daisy leaves I’m putting fostering on pause to take care of Jax and give him the best life possible for as long as I can. I guess that’s all for today. Sorry I’m all over the place.